


Never From Our Hearts

by KandiSheek



Series: Cap/IM Bingo 2020 [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Cap_Ironman Bingo 2020, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Leaving Home, M/M, Plot Twists, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28501470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KandiSheek/pseuds/KandiSheek
Summary: “You can't ignore me forever, Steve.”
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Cap/IM Bingo 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911595
Comments: 24
Kudos: 99





	Never From Our Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fill for my "Everything Is Just Peachy" square for the Cap/IM bingo. I just had to go full angst. I had to.
> 
> I chose not to use Archive Warnings because it would spoil the story, but if you want a more thorough warning you can skip to the end notes, I'll include one there. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

“Hey, Steve. You're late.”

Steve closed the door to his apartment, walking straight into the kitchen. Tony was sitting on the counter, his feet dangling over Steve's stove as he tapped his fingers on the cutting board.

“You went out for lunch, didn't you? Was it Nat?”

Steve walked past him to the fridge, grabbing a yoghurt and weighing it in his hand before he put it back, suddenly not hungry.

“What's up at SHIELD?” Tony asked as Steve grabbed a bottle of water instead, draining it in one go. He could feel Tony's eyes burning into his back as he did. “You're over there all the time now. I feel like I barely see you anymore.”

Steve crumpled the empty bottle in his fist, tossing it in the garbage.

“You can't ignore me forever, Steve.”

Steve walked through the living room into his bedroom, opening the closet and pulling out whatever clothes he might need, which wasn't much. Then he dragged his suitcase onto the bed and folded everything, stacking his shirts neatly to make more space.

“Another mission? Steve, seriously, you need to tell Fury not to work you so hard, you're –“

Tony broke off when Steve lifted his mattress to pick up the small box underneath that held Steve's personal belongings. His dad's old pocket watch. His mother's favorite hairpin. A picture of him and the Commandoes.

Tony had helped him get those things back from storage, Steve remembered, and the thought sent a sharp pain through his chest.

“Steve?” Tony's voice was hesitant now. “What is this?”

Steve was so fucking tired.

He could feel Tony's eyes on him as he checked the drawers for anything he might've missed before he went to the bathroom and grabbed his toiletries, placing them on top of everything else. Then he went to his nightstand, rifling through his sketchbooks and art supplies. He was stalling for time and he knew it but Steve just couldn't – he couldn't –

“Would you look at me? Please?”

The desperation in his voice made Steve's chest hurt. He took a few measuring breaths, trying to strengthen his resolve before –

“Steve. I'm begging you, okay? What do I have to do? Just tell me what to do!”

“You can't do anything,” Steve said hoarsely, his head sinking to his chest as he internally cursed himself for giving in. Again. Goddamn it, he couldn't keep doing this. “It doesn't matter, Tony. We're done here.”

“What do you mean done?” Tony asked shakily. “Steve, please –“

“I saw Pepper yesterday.”

He didn't turn around to see it but he could hear the honest relief in Tony's voice. “Yeah? How is she?”

“Fine.“ He almost choked on the lie. “I told her I was leaving.”

Tony was silent for a long moment. Steve could feel the seconds crawling on his skin.

“Leaving,” Tony eventually said, his voice hollow. “How long?”

Steve swallowed hard, slamming the drawer shut as he got to his feet. “Doesn't matter.” He took a shaky breath. “She said she'd like to see you. If she could.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Steve stuffed the last handful of his things into the suitcase, feeling a little pang in his chest when he realized that this was it. He had everything he needed.

Steve didn't have _anything_ he needed.

Tony barely made a noise as he walked up behind Steve, but Steve could feel his presence like the heat of an open fire against his back. “Steve, what... what does this mean for us?”

Steve snapped his suitcase shut with more force than necessary, his jaw clenched so tightly it almost hurt.

“Please. Just talk to me, I –“

“I can't be around you,” Steve said, the words scraping his throat raw. For a long moment there was silence but then Tony took a shaky breath that tore at Steve's heartstrings.

“Why not?”

“Don't –“ Steve closed his eyes. “Tony, I can't – I can't even _look_ at you. Just – fuck.” He pressed a hand to his mouth when a sob tried to crawl its way out of his throat. “I _can't_. You have to let me go, okay? You have to.”

“Steve –“

“ _Please_ ,” Steve begged and he felt Tony freeze behind him as he squeezed his eyes shut, his chest so tight that it was getting hard to breathe.

Time seemed to stand still around them as neither of them moved, caught up in this tiny pocket of despair that was them and them alone. Just when Steve thought the moment might never end Tony took a step back, giving Steve some room to breathe.

“I can't stop you.”

It should've been a relief. But Tony's words hurt even more than his silence because they were true. They were _true_.

There was nothing left here for Steve.

“Right,” he croaked, his movements sluggish as he picked up the suitcase and walked out of the room straight to the front door, carefully not looking at Tony.

He had his hand on the doorknob when he paused, lungs seizing up as his free hand clenched into a fist.

“Steve?” Tony asked from behind him and he took a deep breath, cursing himself because despite knowing that he shouldn't – he still wanted – _fuck._

Steve turned around. The sight of him felt like a punch in the gut, the way it always did, and Tony's eyes were wet his unshed tears, his face twisting with agony before a calm acceptance took over. Steve wanted to say something, _anything_ , but his mouth wouldn't move and Tony seemed to notice because he smiled shakily around a choked laugh. “Stop crying, you idiot.”

Steve nodded, wiping the tears off his face as he turned his back on Tony and opened the door.

“You should visit Pepper,” he said. “She left beautiful flowers on your grave.”

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler warning:  
> Tony is dead. Whether he's a ghost or just a hallucination is up to your interpretation.


End file.
